America: Eclectic Melting Pot of the Post Modern World

America:

A people insecure and yet so convinced they are sure,

Polarized and categorized,

Sensitive in feelings and insensitive with whom they’re dealing,

Nice and mean

Dirty and clean,

Rich and yet poor

Possessing resources but what for?

Possessing and possessed

Obsessing and obsessed.

Shiny stuff,

And never enough.

Upgrades,

Downloads,

Degrade uploads.

There are values on pillars that float in the air,

The foundation is lost in the clouds and the flair.

Comfort is lost in the sex and the food.

We don’t know what’s right,

We don’t know what’s good.

Morality is relative along with truth

But no one can prove it because its not true to you.

When there is no foundation

There is no God.

And no one can see straight when we worship the job.

Job to get money,

Money to get the house,

House to put stuff in, just to move out.

Travel the world retire, settle down, golf and talk about the weather before they put you down.

RaPoem

I had a to do list the other night and I'd been listening to a lot more hip pop and rap lately. (Shout out to Lecrae, Trip Lee, NF) So after watching a music video of the chap they call NF I thought to myself, "I could be a white rapper" So I thought I'd try it out. It probably just comes out as a poem unless I have Lecrae rap it for me. Whatevertheresult I thought hey. I'll type this up and then I thought hey, I'll add it to my online collection.

This is a testimony to Jesus and His work in my life. 

 (10-17-14) on the back of the to do list.

 

What to do the question at hand

My heart is pulled on

By darkened souls I’m

Just trying to hold on

When I’m what seems wrong

Pick up carry on? Ya!

As it’s my own song

I’m weak I’m not strong

It’s like I’ve been led on

Caught up in the throng

Back in forth, right and wrong

Ping to the ping to the ping pang pong

It’s back and forth up and down

These devils try to get me from all around

I know the truth, I know the life

It’s all I need, I know its right.

But it aint easy though

Feelings come and go

Thoughts come from me

Then they come so slow

I found out I’ve agreed with Lucy.

Kept guard on my heart

No I held too loose

Afraid to lose

Afraid to choose

But in my “Oh My”

I saw the noose

Like French fries

Just don’t fly

When weights to lose

Procrastination masked as patience

Drank as poison in my relations

Some I see, some I don’t, I wasted

Time losing hope

I wasted life on a rope

Till it snapped, it left me broke

Empty pockets broken bones

Dirty socks, far from home

This aint my zone

I’m so alone

Even on the phone

I’m all alone

But heed You, I didn’t

You just called me with it

As I called out to live it

My skin and bones rivet

My hope was gone

I gave it

My help was wrong

I made it

And this went on

Till it ended

When the wick of my candle was burned in

And I cried out so helpless

And naked

Get me out of this mess

(I’m) Mistaken

In patience I’ll find

But I wasted

Impatience to find

What I tasted

Was it worth it?

I’s lost in and hurt

It was all that I ran from

It was, You that I needed

And You by grace bleeded

And to You I finally pleaded

To save me from my conceded

Self and sin and lies and pain

I needed

A kickstart

My foundation was wrong

I couldn’t really stand strong

I couldn’t really stand at all

I thought I was two people

One for perfection (to be seen)

And one to secretly fall.

It was impossible, improbable

The likeliness of life to come from death

But You brought me back to life

You are the Rest.

 

Everything you've ever wanted and The death trap of tranquilizing societal influence.

Lord, I never want to grow old. It seems i've been listening to myself do as I'm told. Why! This bubble is so correct. I think I've puked out my heart for the things a "good kid" should respect. Lord, I don't want to grow old. Hit the reset button or somehow get a handle on this heart, it's soo cold. Or at least not like this. These minds are being used but I wonder if they'd work better if they weren't first abused.  They seem nice, maybe, if you squint your eyes and look away. "what a nice student" the people would say, never to know what nice even means. Never to see the end to these means. These blind and numb, death and dumb. I hate, cause I'm the blue gum ball in the gum ball machine. The world ate the pink ones and worships the green. One day there perfect society will conform me. One day I'll get it. I just need to believe. If I manage my time and suck up enough, if I "get back in the swing of things" then it won't be soo rough. Ya right! I've avoided a lot of things, but i picked this fight. I know I'm in a war that I can't win, but I'm not giving up and I'm not giving in. I am an eagle and all of these birds are flying against me.  I am the salmon and all this water streams agaist You. I am on Your side. They think that it's cute. I don't want, I don't need, a life that drifts with breeze, a heart that sifted as winds please. There's a man and he's been sleepin. He cracked an eye upon this evenin. He's perfect and all that I've ever dreamed of being. He alive and wake beyond this world and beyond this season. But in His dreams, I have been seen and, all that lies ahead is meaning. All the fear and doubts are leavin. This Man is gentle, love and caring. This Man is life, and hope and daring. Ain't a chance he put to rest this guy's relentless, this guy's the best. He only gets stronger and He's not going away. This Man is my future and lives in me today.

You know... I've noticed a few things bout this here planet and our relation to it in the moments prior to this one.  Things like:

-I have come to terms with the fact that I am 22.  It's a fact now.  And this is probably the fastest reality has hit me in my life thus far.  It came from contemplation, meditation and prayer.  I see it kinda like...
learning.  Now this learning analogy applies because I have lots of new things I am learning in this season of life, academically, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and cognitively.  A more applicable example could be... dusting for a hidden picture that can only be seen by a special dust that a person has to apply gently and in a small area. Thus is takes quite some time to uncover the hidden picture yet when it starts coming together during the process, when I step back and look at it, is quite a breathtaking reality.  Oh the simple joy to stop.  Stop the busy bustle (yes, busy bustle) and reflect (far worse not to) upon the journey; the process, and realize what could not have been realized another way.  
     It seems the subtle changes in our lives are easier to cope with because there is not an insurmountable amount of instant shock from difference or uncomfortable newness.  And by cope I sadly mean that we (specified in another thought) really tend to fall on the side of being not near as grateful for the work God does in and of our lives.  We seem as hardly as aware of the marvelous transforming change that has occurred as the old self that once was.  The main jab being, reflection is vital for a thankful heart.  Now worry is vital for a closed heart and fear is vital for the enclosed heart but love-complete closes the door to worry and cast's out fear allthewhile kindling (verb) the fire of grateful joy above the hearth of honesty with the kindling (noun) of reflection.

For those few who might stumble across this,

I am living at home with my good friend Andrew Marshall.  I am coaching Defenders basketball (a dream of mine for this past year)  I get to coach my Jr. Brother and my Sr. Cousin.

God has a beautiful plan and I want nothing less than all the Kahoots He's got for me.

You are not what you do, you BE

You are not what you do

You have been made new

A new creation in Christ

Founded on Life

He lived and He died

Accused and abused

Perfectly used

He killed pride blood He sweat For you

And for I He walked in humility

Gave His life up willingly

Its all about Him He put the hope in everything

The good you see is stamped with His signet ring

For I was dipped in His death

Crucified with his breath

Immersed in everlasting hopelessness

Bound by sin in a shamed debt of bottomlessness

I was the enemy

I was the sin in me

Losing hope and energy

In this state I died but He died first

And He loved me while I was the curse

I was the mess. I was reversed

And He loved me He loved me first

Now that I've died

He lives inside

I dont even live anymore He lives in my skin

When I played the hoar

How free it is

Bound No more

Who I was is on the ocean floor

And unlocked is the prison door

For freedom He has set me free

Dying to live with Him for eternity

BUT I'll never forget He died for me.

He lives, you are not what you do

You BE. Why does it annoy me?

Why do I feel what I feel?

Oh come be my love

Love all around

Flow out my heart Overtake my way Its yours

eighteen

What a blessing stuck under this earthen curse

To see the King at the wedding All the more glorious being the worst

Don't look down now

It's not going to help

The Ox is muzzeled

The world is puzzeled

What to live for? Who to please?

In our closets on our knees

Freed by death on a tree

Cleared my deabt, payed my fees

Living to love Him whole fully

Obey His decrees

At His name darkness flees

In His presence we'll forever be

In this life, this life I lead

Your face, your Love this will I see

 Blessed are the meek

The deeper power comes through the weak

And faith as a musturd seed

What'd you come out to see?

A wind blown desert reed?

He's coming back to judge the scene

This is our mission This is our calling

Your purpose among a world thats falling

This is What you were made for

This Is why the veil from top to bottom tore

No, your not alone Go,

His breath is with you

Watching from Heaven's shore

Watching over His child, you

Like Never Before

I was feeling very lazy and prideful last week.  There were a few times I didn't go to bed as early as I wanted to and I was going with the flow as far spending time with God rather than fighting and setting time aside for Him.

Wednesday, while our team was praying for the event, God was doing things in our hearts and speaking to many people on our team.  Ashlly got the word: Heart-felt.  PJ got the Word: Flood and a lot of people were feeling something that would be different from any other events.

At this time I was feeling on the outside with my desire.  Like God was not the center of my life.
So I gave Him my feelings, worries and life.

Thursday we loaded in at a church in Atlanta.  This was the first event for the January team and the August team was there more to just shadow and help out in any way possible to assist in the preparation of the January team in their jobs.

Friday marked the start of the event and a stirring in my soul.
Devin and I talked shortly after the end of friday night's events and long conversation short: God is speaking to Devin through His word, people and His Spirit and she was being told to do many things and in doing these things and obeying the Lord she was on fire, not literally but Spiritually.  She was the most passionate I have ever seen her about anything and she wasn't joking around.

During this talk, the Spirit was pulling the desires He has placed inside of me out.
and was stirring His Spirit inside of me.

Since that night I have realized that I was not being aggressive about what I believe and my love with the Lord.  The first thing I did was talk to people about what God was doing in their lives which led to PJ and Travis and I going off into a room and praying and reading the bible and worshiping God together. Daniel and Zech wondered in while PJ, Ashlly and I were talking about how to stir each others hearts and push our team toward God.  And this spread throughout more people, throughout the night.  God kept up a few people up later into the early hours of the next day to pray and get in the Word and intercede for the event and the lives of the people attending and working it.

Woke up Saturday after a good 3 or 4 hours of sleep and read Ephesians 3 and then Zech quoted 1 Corinthians 13, which he had memorized the night before.
I gave the day to the LORD, as if I owned it, ha.  Then He gave me His joy for a breath and life and love and a new day.

I started Saturday doing the door count with Elliot and I was able to see every person who set foot into the church and greet them with the love of Jesus.  It was honestly a blast.

Ashlly in her job on an weekend is regularly not able to pray with people because of where she works and this weekend she was able to pray with a girl who God was leading her to pray with and share a word God gave her.  It was an encouragement to both of them and built the faith of us when we heard what God was doing in and through her life.

God was working in so many ways.  During part of lunch Ashlly, PJ, Daniel, Zech and I went and read the Word and prayed and talked about what God was doing and how He was using us.  We were all tired but were honest with and used the Word and each other for strength.  The rest of the afternoon was spent asking, waiting and looking for Him and His opportunities to come to love and encourage people during our assistance to perspective areas.

Near Dinner, I was able to go to the youth pastor breakout and God was breaking chains I know not of and bringing new life to youth pastors.  I was encouraged seeing weary youth pastors being encouraged. This is when I started to see how everything we do is for God and everything good that happens is a result of God and His hand at work.

I carried a stack of DVD's back to Kemtal's (our wonderful leader and preacher) table and when I set them down my back had a weird hurt in it.  I thought little of it and continued to dinner.

Just after dinner I talked to Tiera and she was telling me the Lord was going to bring up Isaiah 55 that night.  I ventured on into evening worship and my heart was not quite right but I asked God to come and He came through and captivated me.  The people who were worshipping were stirring my heart to worship and the people who were not as engaged were burdening my heart to pray.  So My heart and soul were being stirred either way and I got to praying like I have never prayed before.  and the words were just flowing from the deepest desire I have known.  John Gray got on stage during worship and started singing Isaiah 55 which, if you remember, was the chapter Tiara had said would come up in worship.  Then in the nucleus of worship a former Acquire The Fire staff member came and spoke words I believe were from God.  I have never had something this powerful happen and I know this is just the beginning.  What an encouragement to me it was.

But that's not all, PJ was seeing this flood (remember the word she got?) that is difficult to describe.  She got this picture of heaven and she couldn't stop laughing on the ground and after worship Ashlly had to help PJ up to her feet.  PJ later told me, "heaven is so joyful."

The pain in my back increased and was more sensitive.  This caused me to not be able to help with load out as I usually would.  This week it was okay because it was the January team's event anyway, so they did the main work and during this time I  was feeling as if I was in love and I realized, I was.
I am in Love with Jesus and I don't care who knows it.

This is amazing and I have a few needs and request's I would like to ask of you.

Can you pray for a few things?

1. I am in need of finances. I am supposed to pay $5,400 From August 2011 through July 2012.  That is broken up into monthly placements of $450 and I am currently over 2 months behind.  That sounds really bad because I am not sure if I am supposed to be on tour if I am this far behind but I am still here and I know God will provide.  My goal, before march to be under 500 and by March 11th to be caught up. So here's how that looks:

I am currently at $2,072.11 and need to be at 3,600 by March 15th.

This is still 1.
Pray that God provides the finances an please give if you know you are supposed to.
Thank you for supporting and obeying God.

My ID# 2610558  enter after clicking link below
Donate at www.honoracademy.com/donate

2. Pray for our Team's finances, I am not the only one behind.

3. Please pray for the team and I to fall more in love with Jesus and to be sharpened and truly be the body of Christ.

Thank you for reading, please contact me if you have any questions or words from the Lord or advice.  Thank you again.
with love -Kileab

Below is a chart of payment dues:


4,050 by April 15th
4,500 by May 15th
and 4,950 by June 15th
I need to be at 5,400 by Aug 11th.

Quiet the soul

There are so many toys and so much noise
bringing so much distraction to so many girls and so many boys
Maybe some of us people should put some of our things down
and find some real life apart from death in which some have been drown
How can all us suspect to know and understand
all that we want, all we want to demand
This is everything that you've ever lived for
This is everything you know, everything and more

Speak of the Wondrous works of the Lord

The other night I was with my friend, Joel and we were talking under the stars on a beautiful night where the stars were alive and shining peace.

We shared about our lives and what we were struggling with and what God is doing and that led to more of what God is doing and more amazement at Him and what He is doing in our lives and it got so bad (really good) that we just sung our souls out to God together.

He was there and He was real and He was so filling my mind that basketball, was whatever and troubles were rocks as I climb the mountain of this life I lead.

I was gazing up into the heavens
A feeling put into words sounds like this:
Most the stars are bigger than the planet I live on
and this planet is so much bigger than I know
This life I've lived so far, hasn't even touched a hundredth of a percent of the existence of the world.
and this body is so much older than I know
Those stars are still here
and my eyes can see them
The life that I lead
Is soon to be leaving
I want to know love
and all that I'm meaning
Parents of parents of parents
Stars are still dancing
I feel so small in this
truth I'm realizing
But letting go is saying okay
cause today in itself is all a new day

Where I was

I was previously working for a Ministry in Texas called Teen Mania.  At this Ministry there are 4 branches: The Honor Academy, Global Expeditions, Acquire the fire and Extreme Camps.

-The Honor Academy is a 1 Year leadership internship focusing on Faith, Integrity, Relationships, Vision and Excellence.

-Global Expeditions sends out youth and adults on mission trips to more than 25 countries a year.

-Acquire the Fire is a 27 hour weekend event filled with Speakers, Drama, Bands, and Worship.

-Extreme Camps hosts hundreds of kids each summer for summer camps.

I graduated the, 1 Year, Honor Academy internship in August of 2011.

After months of searching, praying and seeking council then praying again I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.  I kept praying and God brought all of my prayers to completion.  Not at all in any way I had thought or assumed it would play out.

I was accepted to be on the Acquire The Fire, August Class 2011-2012 Ministry Team for the Normal’s Not Enough tour.  God sped up the healing process during the time I had Mononucleosis in August and allowed me to be ready to return in time to remain on the Ministry Team to tour.

We have finished the fall tour after putting on 1 Youth Pastor Conference and 7 events in 7 States and 2 countries while covering 12,000 miles on the road.

I am currently on the Spring tour and in order for the travel, housing, food, and ministry to be done there is a budget that I need to meet monthly in order to stay on the team and provide the Ministry with enough finances to be sustained.

That Amount is $450.00 a Month.

Please ask God, with me, believing He will provide me with what He has called me to.

To Donate

Enter my ID Number after clicking the link below.

My ID # 2610558        Click this Link to Donate  www.honoracademy.com/donate

Is this it?

Am i just waiting for the next meal?

is there more or is this the real deal?

I dont want to live just to get by

Its the freedom I see in the sky

Its the purpose thats deep down inside

the quiet heartbeat that brings me to life

feelings are waves they're up and there down

I feel theres more ways to live without drowning

My head is giving up

My Spirit cant get enough

live underneath the skin

I see a glimps when I close my eyes again

I can feel I can see

I can feel it in the air

I can see it in the sky

I feel it in the wind rushing through my hair

I can see it in the leaves

rustling in the trees

I know your all around me

I can feel it with my toes in the grass

I see you in the sky above as helpless clouds float past

your not a pot, you made the clay

and with our dirt and cracks so unworthy

you still mend and value the unwanted

you found the lost and bring to life to the dead

World Beyond

Behind my eyes

the lights arise

Burning up what appearance hides

I feel it pulling me in

the deeper the sore the Slower i spin

My heart tears for a world beyond my own

restless the tsunamis and earthquakes as she groans

Freedom Gracer

The center of my core wants to know you more

although the outside is what everyone sees

The evil nature inside of me try's to ignore eternity

But there's a deeper fire kindled underneath

I can feel the excitment of the shortlived counterfits and out of places

But the truth and freedom that I've found has come only as He graces

Caught in the inbetween

Caught in the in between

Is this real or just a dream?

I say what I want but not what I mean

I live for a moment and quietly forsaking

This is what I was mistaking

a friend or a fiend a weed or a tree

to stay or to leave? Tie or unweave?

This is a constant heart moniter irregular,

up and down I just dont want to die alone

I flew off feeling and its what dropped me to the bottom

and now I feel as if feelings even based off truth if i got em

wont suffice to choose the path because the last chosen was sinful wrath

stand tall idk how Im brought low even now The laziness is more real from the ground

and the words im sayin are barely qualified as sound.

If i refused to turn

before after i learned

why would it be okay

if once ive fallen off the path

and turned my back and death

ran back to stir the flesh

maybe i could enjoy death.

I don't deserve anything I ran away

and spit in your face

I dont wanna believe what I know is true but thats probly feelings too