Fasting LTE
Friday evening the 2nd of the first 3 day fast I have ever done, I was subconsciously discouraged after wrestling with my mind on various heart and personal motivations.
I started reading through Colossians, I had an unexplainable quiet joy that led me to realize that when I eat food, I am not satisfied but when I read God's word, It refreshes and encourages even If I don't know why. I told myself before I went
into the session that even if I got nothing else from God during the LTE all weekend, I could hold on to the fact that God is the only satisfaction.
When I was trying to figure out how to connect with God, I was feeling condemned By all the sinfulness habits I needed to destroy and the Godly habits I needed to bring to life. I felt distant from God. I was getting a little frustrated because we were being encouraged during sessions to press in deeper and I was just wanting to know how I was supposed to press deeper. Saturday evening I fell to my knees in dry discouragement and announced to God that I was giving him everything. It was so hard for me to do. I knew somewhere deep within that nothing else will do, or be. I am praying that God will help me be continuously bringing it all to Him.
Thinking through it, reading the Bible, getting wise council and listening to a speaker at one of the sessions, through the Holy Spirit I was able to understood at a deeper level a glimpse of the value of the importance of being honest with God when I pray. Who am I trying to deceive or impress?
I later learned that there were 2 main reason's I was discouraged at first. One being, I focused everything I was doing about me and not God.
Two, Which ties in with the first is I was pitying myself. Similar to the start of ESOAL for me. If I want to hear from God I have to get my eyes off of everything and gaze upon His face.
Saturday after the 10 O'clock session I went off into the woods in the back 40 and found a place to read in the quiet of nature. I was so refreshed by the crisp cool air and the walk through the woods. Again, I find it hard to describe what refreshed me. I am unable to put my finger on what exactly it was or my tongue on how it did but spending time in God's creation, seeing deer, birds, squirrels, and insects and reading His word while talking to him did it.
The last thing I know I took away from the fasting LTE was that God refreshes, recharges, renews, and reveals by His Word and His nature in the most still and quiet situations not the busy loud ones so much. I am learning how to just quiet my heart before him, adore and listen.
Friday evening the 2nd of the first 3 day fast I have ever done, I was subconsciously discouraged after wrestling with my mind on various heart and personal motivations.
I started reading through Colossians, I had an unexplainable quiet joy that led me to realize that when I eat food, I am not satisfied but when I read God's word, It refreshes and encourages even If I don't know why. I told myself before I went
into the session that even if I got nothing else from God during the LTE all weekend, I could hold on to the fact that God is the only satisfaction.
When I was trying to figure out how to connect with God, I was feeling condemned By all the sinfulness habits I needed to destroy and the Godly habits I needed to bring to life. I felt distant from God. I was getting a little frustrated because we were being encouraged during sessions to press in deeper and I was just wanting to know how I was supposed to press deeper. Saturday evening I fell to my knees in dry discouragement and announced to God that I was giving him everything. It was so hard for me to do. I knew somewhere deep within that nothing else will do, or be. I am praying that God will help me be continuously bringing it all to Him.
Thinking through it, reading the Bible, getting wise council and listening to a speaker at one of the sessions, through the Holy Spirit I was able to understood at a deeper level a glimpse of the value of the importance of being honest with God when I pray. Who am I trying to deceive or impress?
I later learned that there were 2 main reason's I was discouraged at first. One being, I focused everything I was doing about me and not God.
Two, Which ties in with the first is I was pitying myself. Similar to the start of ESOAL for me. If I want to hear from God I have to get my eyes off of everything and gaze upon His face.
Saturday after the 10 O'clock session I went off into the woods in the back 40 and found a place to read in the quiet of nature. I was so refreshed by the crisp cool air and the walk through the woods. Again, I find it hard to describe what refreshed me. I am unable to put my finger on what exactly it was or my tongue on how it did but spending time in God's creation, seeing deer, birds, squirrels, and insects and reading His word while talking to him did it.
The last thing I know I took away from the fasting LTE was that God refreshes, recharges, renews, and reveals by His Word and His nature in the most still and quiet situations not the busy loud ones so much. I am learning how to just quiet my heart before him, adore and listen.
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