RaPoem

I had a to do list the other night and I'd been listening to a lot more hip pop and rap lately. (Shout out to Lecrae, Trip Lee, NF) So after watching a music video of the chap they call NF I thought to myself, "I could be a white rapper" So I thought I'd try it out. It probably just comes out as a poem unless I have Lecrae rap it for me. Whatevertheresult I thought hey. I'll type this up and then I thought hey, I'll add it to my online collection.

This is a testimony to Jesus and His work in my life. 

 (10-17-14) on the back of the to do list.

 

What to do the question at hand

My heart is pulled on

By darkened souls I’m

Just trying to hold on

When I’m what seems wrong

Pick up carry on? Ya!

As it’s my own song

I’m weak I’m not strong

It’s like I’ve been led on

Caught up in the throng

Back in forth, right and wrong

Ping to the ping to the ping pang pong

It’s back and forth up and down

These devils try to get me from all around

I know the truth, I know the life

It’s all I need, I know its right.

But it aint easy though

Feelings come and go

Thoughts come from me

Then they come so slow

I found out I’ve agreed with Lucy.

Kept guard on my heart

No I held too loose

Afraid to lose

Afraid to choose

But in my “Oh My”

I saw the noose

Like French fries

Just don’t fly

When weights to lose

Procrastination masked as patience

Drank as poison in my relations

Some I see, some I don’t, I wasted

Time losing hope

I wasted life on a rope

Till it snapped, it left me broke

Empty pockets broken bones

Dirty socks, far from home

This aint my zone

I’m so alone

Even on the phone

I’m all alone

But heed You, I didn’t

You just called me with it

As I called out to live it

My skin and bones rivet

My hope was gone

I gave it

My help was wrong

I made it

And this went on

Till it ended

When the wick of my candle was burned in

And I cried out so helpless

And naked

Get me out of this mess

(I’m) Mistaken

In patience I’ll find

But I wasted

Impatience to find

What I tasted

Was it worth it?

I’s lost in and hurt

It was all that I ran from

It was, You that I needed

And You by grace bleeded

And to You I finally pleaded

To save me from my conceded

Self and sin and lies and pain

I needed

A kickstart

My foundation was wrong

I couldn’t really stand strong

I couldn’t really stand at all

I thought I was two people

One for perfection (to be seen)

And one to secretly fall.

It was impossible, improbable

The likeliness of life to come from death

But You brought me back to life

You are the Rest.

 

Everything you've ever wanted and The death trap of tranquilizing societal influence.

Lord, I never want to grow old. It seems i've been listening to myself do as I'm told. Why! This bubble is so correct. I think I've puked out my heart for the things a "good kid" should respect. Lord, I don't want to grow old. Hit the reset button or somehow get a handle on this heart, it's soo cold. Or at least not like this. These minds are being used but I wonder if they'd work better if they weren't first abused.  They seem nice, maybe, if you squint your eyes and look away. "what a nice student" the people would say, never to know what nice even means. Never to see the end to these means. These blind and numb, death and dumb. I hate, cause I'm the blue gum ball in the gum ball machine. The world ate the pink ones and worships the green. One day there perfect society will conform me. One day I'll get it. I just need to believe. If I manage my time and suck up enough, if I "get back in the swing of things" then it won't be soo rough. Ya right! I've avoided a lot of things, but i picked this fight. I know I'm in a war that I can't win, but I'm not giving up and I'm not giving in. I am an eagle and all of these birds are flying against me.  I am the salmon and all this water streams agaist You. I am on Your side. They think that it's cute. I don't want, I don't need, a life that drifts with breeze, a heart that sifted as winds please. There's a man and he's been sleepin. He cracked an eye upon this evenin. He's perfect and all that I've ever dreamed of being. He alive and wake beyond this world and beyond this season. But in His dreams, I have been seen and, all that lies ahead is meaning. All the fear and doubts are leavin. This Man is gentle, love and caring. This Man is life, and hope and daring. Ain't a chance he put to rest this guy's relentless, this guy's the best. He only gets stronger and He's not going away. This Man is my future and lives in me today.